Forest Fire
by digi789mon
Summary: RE-CONTINUED. Mike/Jayden Jayden/Mike SLASH! TRIGGER WARNINGS! The rangers don't know about Mike's history and he continues on just hanging by a thread. However, no matter how much he tries to push away his demons, he knows it's only a matter of time until the rangers figure out his secrets. Can anyone save Mike from the darkness of his past or is he already too far gone?
1. Chapter 1

**Forest Fire**

**A/N: **This is my very first fic. I hope you all enjoy. Not exactly canon. (The beginning is sort of but then I move on to my own thing as I can't remember exactly what happens and want to do things my way :P). Probably some OOC. This story contains mature content in certain areas featuring,** male/male relations, sexual references and situations, swearing, violence, self-harm and depression. If you do not want to read these kinds of things, just don't. **I hope you guys review seeing as this is my very first story. I would like some feedback and I don't care about flames as long as they are about my writing style, not the content. Contains spoilers. I update randomly (though I could give you an approximate time the next time I update if you message me). I will only be posting the first chapter for now to see if you guys actually want me to go on with it. BTW if anyone has any tips on writing after reading this chap, feel free to message me since I'm usually on the site. I know, long note but this should be the only long one since for now. If you are confused about something or I've done something wrong, message me, I will try to get to you a.s.a.p.

**Horizontal Rule= change in time, scene, and/or POV**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing from power rangers samurai. **

Chapter 1

_SCREW THIS SHIT! I give my heart and soul to this team, no one tries as hard as I do,_ thought Mike. _I deserve to have that beetle disk! I know I'm strong enough to wield it, I may not be as strong as Kevin or Jayden, but I train! I know how to use symbol power like it's nobody's business and I always give it my all! I always try my best! But…that's all I ever do isn't it? Just try, try without really ever getting anywhere, _he reflected as his thoughts spiraled from angry to desperate.

Mike pulled on the most convincing smile he could muster, which wasn't much, when he looked on to Mia as Jayden handed her the beetle disk.

_I…I guess I should have known better than to get my hopes up. I should know better by now to know any hope just comes crashing down in the long run. Let's be real. I know no matter how hard I train, I'll never be up to Kevin or Jayden's level and I'll never be as part of the group as Emily and Mia are. I'll always be the bench warmer, the back-up, the miserable fuck up. Why hope for something that'll never happen. It's not like things would ever really change now, would they? Not for me anyways. Never for me, _his thoughts drawled on.

As long as Mike was concerned, this was the least of his problems. He couldn't help but wonder about what led him up to this point in his life as a samurai, if what he had now was worth going through what he had.

* * *

><p>As long as he could remember, he was never able to catch a break in his life. Since he was a kid, his father had tried to instill him with the knowledge and skills to be the future green samurai ranger, but, as hard as Mike tried, it was never good enough for him. He was never as strong as his father wanted him to be in their training sessions, and his father beat him because of it. He would take the first thing he could get his calloused hands on, usually his own wooden kendo sword, his belt or, god forbid an actual katana and would beat, whip or cut him, anger and frustration etched on his features, until Mike was on the ground, writhing in pain covered in black and blue spots, cuts or both. The injuries were never enough to kill him, but they stung and pained him all the same. The worst part was what happened after the physical abuse, while tears were still streaming from his beaten face.<p>

"YOU ARE A DISGRACE AS BOTH A SAMURAI AND MY SON!" He yelled with a scowl on his face as his booming voice echoed across the walls of the dojo. "What I did to deserve an idiot shit of a son is beyond me." There was pure malice in that voice that didn't go unnoticed by the whimpering boy as the words his father said were ingrained in his brain.

With one final strike, he would leave the dojo while being soothed by his wife, who just always happened to appear at the end of his rants. While patting circles on the small of the man's back, she was constantly sending hateful glares at the boy who was huddling in the corner, shaking with each breath as he hugged his knees towards his chest.

Silence ruled in the dojo after his father left, the only sounds that tore through were the noise of the nightly crickets, owls and the muffled sobs of a little boy.

This was the nightly training routine the young samurai would have to endure for years on end and would never to grow accustomed to. No matter how long the torture lasted, no matter how many times he had to deal with the constant physical and emotional pain, it would never lessen.

He was 6 when it started.

* * *

><p>On nights when he wasn't practicing his sword fighting with his father, he was in the sitting room practicing to write kanji with his mother. Although, this wasn't to say these nights were any better.<p>

Where a mother should be kind-hearted and supportive of their child, his mother was cold and critical. He received no comfort from her stern, stone etched face as she watched him like a hawk while he practiced writing kanji on scrolls, in preparation for using his elemental symbol power for his destined position as the next green samurai ranger.

Mike's face was expressionless as he tried to focus on the half blank scroll, trying desperately not to focus on his ever judging mother scanning him with those calculating eyes through his peripheral vision. Though his face said "focused", his mind was on more fearful matters.

_Please…please I don't want to mess up now. I can't mess up now, don't let me mess up, _he begged to no one in particular. _Calm down, just stay calm. I have to focus on doing this right, nothing else. I can do this._ The thoughts were meant to sound confident, but even Mike could hear the desperation in the words of his own musings.

Carefully, he dipped his brush lightly into the inkwell and brushed off any excess ink. He tried to steel himself as he tried to steady his hand before starting to write, but he couldn't persuade his muscles to listen to his pleading thoughts. As a result, there was a slight trembling in his right hand as it went down to right on to the rough, pale paper. He started to write.

He handled the brush with a rough finesse as he continued to write the kanji lettering that would be the basis of his future symbol power.

_So far…so good, _thought Mike as he concentrated on his work.

Unfortunately for him, the pressure was starting to get to him. Sweat slicked his forehead and he tried desperately to keep his breathing low and steady. The stress was starting to take its toll as it felt like his heart was being constricted in his chest. It became harder and harder to keep a steady hold on the brush until the inevitable. His hand suddenly twitched, causing his brush to go askew from writing the symbol of concealment.

The slap echoed across the room, sending any more thoughts Mike had into dizzying nothingness for a few seconds. As his left cheek was starting to burn and grow red, the sound of the inkwell hitting the floor and the ripping of paper cut through the muddled thoughts in his head. Since he had gotten used to the punishment he endured after making enough errors for his mother to retaliate against him, he mentally braced himself for the verbal attack.

"You idiotic brat," she hissed, the hatred from the words bombarding his fragile heart. "Do you really believe you could ever be a decent samurai ranger with you writing symbols as sloppily as that? I will not take you besmirching our family name with your lack of talent."

Another slap was heard in the room, this time on the right cheek.

"Your father and I were forced to conceive a child so that we could continue our part of the samurai lineage. The least you could do for us putting up with you would be to exhibit some skill as a samurai."

Those words stung just as it did the first time his mother screeched them at him. It always just reminded him just how unwanted he really was.

Mike kept his silence, head bowed and eyes down cast. His eyes never ventured towards his mother as they strained to keep the tears from flowing. He wanted to at least stay strong until his mother left him to himself.

"If you have nothing to say to redeem whatever pride you have left," she continued, "then get out of my sight. You will go stay in your room for the rest of the night."

Some nights, he would get lucky. Some nights, he would make minimal mistakes and his mother was lenient enough to let a few mistakes slip so he would be able to finish his kanji writing sessions in peace with his mother offering him a slight sneer and a stern "Well done". Some nights, he would actually get a good meal before retreating to his room.

This wasn't one of those nights.

* * *

><p>With his nights the way they were with his parents, Mike's only real release was when he attended school. Sure, he may not have been interested in doing the work, seeing as he had enough to deal with as it was, and his teachers always saw him as some lazy slacker, but, at the very least, he was liked.<p>

He had friends, people who liked him for him. People who liked the fact that he went with the flow and was easy to talk to, people who liked how he was amazing at whatever video game he played and people who liked how kind hearted he really was when you got to know him. He had people who didn't constantly berate him or cause him pain. He had people he looked forward to seeing almost every day so that he could immerse himself into the world his friends lived in so that he could almost… _just_ _almost_ forget what he had to come back to when the day was over.

As long as he had those moments to spend with his friends, those small slivers of happiness that lit up his dreary life, he'd be able to keep from slipping into the darkness that surrounded him. The problem with most good things though, as he would soon learn, is that they never really last.

As he was growing up, learning the ways of the world, he started to notice how different he really was compared to all of his friends. Mike always considered himself different, but that was only because he had to lead a different kind of life than his friends, a harsher life, a samurai life. But, that wasn't it. He started to recognize feelings in himself, feelings he knew he shouldn't have.

He didn't look at girls the same way that all his friends did. Sure, most the ones he knew were nice, and it wasn't that they were ugly, in fact some of them he considered pretty damn hot, but he was never really _interested_ in them the way he was supposed to. Instead, he found he was actually turned on by some of the male populace in his school. He never really noticed it at first, nor did he ever catch himself eying other guys in the hallway. It wasn't until in the middle of his pubescent years that he had his first wet dream, featuring a guy, that he finally figured it out.

Mike arched his hips as he woke up in his bed with a strangled moan as his body went through completion. He was covered in sweat making his white undershirt cling on to him and his breathing came out short and shallow as his racing heartbeat gradually started to slow. He sat upright at the head of his bed, basking in the glow that was his post orgasm in a light, but pleasant daze. It wasn't until he felt the wet stickiness in his boxers that he had realized what had happened. It was then remnants of is dream became visible to him. He remembered the tightness in his pants, the young man (that he may have recognized to be in the school volleyball team, he wasn't sure) that started to undress him, the feelings of pleasure as the man put his tongue on the strangest, but most pleasurable of places, the sensations he felt when that tongue finally got to his leaking cock and finally, the burst of pleasure he felt that got him to wake up.

It was at that moment it hit him. It was like something he knew was there, some little thing in the corner of his mind that he never paid any attention to until, at that moment, it decided to make itself known by slamming itself against his conscious mind, jarring his brain. He wanted to deny every part of it, to shove it back into its dark corner, but even he wasn't ignorant enough to ignore one of the few real truths he had in his life that he had known for, apparently, most of it.

He was gay.

And that was when things really started to take a turn for the worst.

Like most teens just starting out high school, he was naïve. He was naïve enough to actually believe that there was a chance that his friends would understand and would still accept him. He should have known better, but, like most people, he wanted to cling on to what little happiness he had.

The day he told his friends was the one day he would never forget, for that was the day he figured out what true anguish really meant. It started off on the walk back home from the usual late night of just hanging out with the usual talk of who would ask who out, how hot some chick was and the usual prodding of trying to find who liked who. It was when Mike just couldn't take the constant prodding and talk of things he didn't care about that he finally cracked and just blurted out "I'M FUCKING GAY!"

He had planned on telling them sometime anyway, he thought that it might as well be now. The second he said it though, he knew he just should have shut the hell up. To say his friends were shocked would have been the understatement of the year. Sure, Mike was nervous of exposing himself at first, but after seeing the faces of his "friends" after a moment of tense silence, he was downright terrified.

Mike didn't know what hit him. One minute he could feel the hostility coming off in waves from his friends, the next, he felt the air get knocked out of his lungs as he doubled over in pain. He didn't even have time to look up as a fist collided with his face, jarring his jaw, along with a kick to his stomach. He fell to his knees and he would have face planted if it wasn't for the iron fisted grip he felt tug at his hair right before he was about to go down. The four others started to come up and surround him giving him sneers as Mike ducked his head, more so to spare his feelings from seeing his former friends look at him the way they were rather than protect his face.

"Damn, we didn't know we were hanging out with a fucking homo," the one holding him by the hair hissed into his ear.

"We actually thought you were pretty cool," another said. "I can't believe we actually wanted some worthless freak to hang around us. That was pretty stupid of us."

"Shit, it's not our fault. You can't trust a fucking homo. For all we knew, he hung out with us just to check us out, the disgusting thing," another low voice accused, dangerously close to Mike's face.

So, with that, the flurry of blows came. Fists collided with his head, chest and torso as two people (he wasn't sure who as he wasn't able to open his eyes at the moment) backed him up towards the mesh fence of someone's back yard and pinned him against it. It was late enough that most of the neighborhood was probably sleeping and the chances of someone happening upon them or a car driving by in the suburban neighborhood this late at night were probably slim to none.

Blood was running down his face like miniature rivers as his body writhed in agony. Every breath caused him pain as he felt his whole body throb as if it were all some giant bruise, which it probably would be by the end of the day.

Don't get him wrong. Mike was sure, even on his worse day, he would have been able to take them all on with his samurai skills without even batting an eye lash, but the thought of fighting the people who had once been the ones to give him hope and a reason to keep going on in life made his stomach churn and sent bile up his throat. And so, he just stood there and took it.

They beat him into a bloody pulp. The pain was starting to get too much for the brown haired samurai and he fell limp against their grasp. With that, they finally let him go just for him to fall harshly on the blood stained sidewalk. It didn't stop there though, his former friends went on to kick him so that he was lying on his back and then they started to stomp on whatever they were able to hit.

Mike screeched and groaned with every impact. He made no move to protect himself as he was already so weak, he could barely move. He wanted to cry out to someone, but every attempt came out more like high pitched squeak. He could already feel that his ribs were broken and his face was throbbing, his ears ringing. He could feel that left wrist was definitely broken and the metallic taste of his blood was in mouth as the thick, red liquid was slowly dribbling out. His eyes were starting to focus in and out as black spots were starting to encircle his vision.

Mike thought for sure they were going to beat him to death. Even his father abusing him on most nights didn't compare to the fact it was his friends doing this to him just to show how much he wasn't accepted. Mike believed he was going to die right there as the beating continued, until he heard a shout from across the street.

"HEY! GET AWAY FROM HIM!" the stranger's voice screamed.

The homophobic gang stopped in their tracks. They each turned to look at the strange man and, from fear of getting caught and reported, they each scattered and hightailed it from the scene, leaving Mike's neighborhood, each running in the direction of their respective homes.

Mike's confused mind couldn't make sense of what was going on. All the samurai knew was that the beating had stopped and he used the remaining energy he had to curl himself into a little protective ball on the sidewalk as he made soft, whimpering noises as his breathing came out in choked sobs. He felt another presence approach him and Mike cringed in fear.

"Hey there buddy," the stranger soothed in a soft voice as he knelt down to the broken samurai. "Are you ok?"

As the stranger laid a hand heavy hand on his shoulder as sign of comfort, Mike visibly tensed and violently flinched away from the gesture, pure terror seizing him.

"Hey, hey, it's alright. I swear I'm not going to hurt you. Please just trust me," the stranger said, still in that soft voice meant to comfort him. "Please just let me help you."

The stranger waited for Mike to calm down. When he heard the sobs starting to die down, he tried again. He reached a hand for the samurai's soldier and when he was met with no resistance, he carefully pulled Mike up to a sitting position so his back was leaning on the fence. Mike hissed in pain during the whole process, despite the stranger's attempts at being gentle.

"Hey buddy, just sit still, I'm gonna call for some help." As the stranger said so, he pulled out his phone and flipped it open.

Mike knew he was just trying to be helpful, but he didn't want to go to any hospital with doctors sticking things into him and prodding him with foreign objects. He tried to voice his objections, but it was hard with his swollen lips and it hurt to talk after all the screaming. But as the bright, colored lights from the phone made it to his blurred vision, he panicked and he forced his voice to work

"_No…"_ he drawled, his voice coming out strained and scratchy.

The sudden sound coming from the beaten man made the stranger jump a little. But all the same, he pushed his phone back into his pocket. "Where do you want me to take you then?" the stranger asked, a bit of worry in his voice.

Again, Mike tried to answer as best he could, but all his throat was able to get out was "_Home…_"

"And where would that be?"

The samurai wanted to tell him full directions, but his addled mind only supplied him with a number. "_F-for-forty five,_" he stuttered.

"On this street?" the stranger asked, and he received a small nod in response. With that, he carefully lifted the broken man by putting an arm around his shoulders and lifting him upon his feet as slowly as they both could manage. It didn't stop the little streams of pain from travelling along his body though. His face was contorted and Mike expressed little grunts to voice out his pain.

It took a few minutes for Mike to get up onto his feet, and by the end he was panting heavily, still in great pain from his many broken bones and multiple bruises. By the time he got up, he was panting hard. The stranger was, thankfully, patiently waiting for Mike to gather up more strength for the short walk home.

"All right, you ready buddy?" the stranger asked. When he received nod he went on to say "Ok then. Just stop if you think it's too much alright?"

The walk that normally took a minute, turned out to take about 20. During the walk, the stranger was supporting Mike the entire way, giving mild words of encouragement, such as _looking good, so far so good, you're doing great_ and _we're almost there_, whenever he thought the broken samurai needed it. Though Mike was still in agony, his thoughts were starting to become a little more coherent and he couldn't help but really notice the kind man that was helping him. It was too dark to see him, and the fact he could barely see through his wounded eyes didn't help the matter, but he couldn't help but notice the strangest things. He noticed the very slight accent in his soft voice, how nice the man smelled with a hint of smoke and salt, how comforting it was to feel the heat of the man's chest on his face and how soft the man's skin could be with the hard muscle he had. All these thoughts clouded his mind so that he didn't notice they reached his doorstep until the stranger laid him down by the door.

"Ok buddy, we're here. I rang the doorbell so someone should be here to get you soon. I'm sorry but I gotta leave now. I really hope you get better," the stranger spoke softly as he ran a hand through the samurai's dark brown hair. With that, he was gone, as if he was never there.

Mike was able to get out a small breathy "_Thank you..." _that seemed to be directed into empty air. It was then fatigue decided to take over the broken boy and he finally passed out.

* * *

><p>Mike remembered waking up in his bed a couple days after the incident, bandages on his head, chest and wrist to help the healing process. He remembered the stern lecture he received from his parents about how troublesome he was for making them bandage and clean his wounds, how much of a disgrace he was for letting civilians gain the upper hand over a samurai and how bad it made them look to have a samurai son who couldn't hold his own. They even slapped him across the face a few times to get their point across. He also remembered how much he didn't give a shit.<p>

As far as he was concerned, his life was meaningless. He started to believe all the things his father shouted at him after practice, about how useless he was. He believed he might as well have died seeing that no one would really have cared whether he lived or not, besides his parents, but they only needed him to continue on their line of samurais. That was probably the only reason his parents had for taking care of him all of his life and took care of his wounds; they needed him physically healthy in order to keep on with training. Mike lost every good thing he had that night. He lost his friends, his happiness, and his hope for a better tomorrow. He had nothing left. The only good thing that came out of this was that his parents still didn't know his secret. For that, he was thankful.

So when his parents decided that he was well enough to go back to school (His wrist and face had healed up nicely, though some of the bruises were still visible. He also had his ribs to worry about as they haven't completely healed, though they should be fine if he was careful), he didn't care. He kept his face blank and just agreed with them, feeling nothing at all.

As it turned out, school did nothing to help the despair he had inside him like it used to. It used to be his safe haven, a place to get away from his troubles, but now he lost his one and only luxury. Instead, it was just another prison to hold him.

News seemed to spread fast among people in the school. It seemed in the weeks Mike was absent, the news of his homosexuality had reached the ears of everyone in it, faculty included. So when it was the first day he had come back, people took action. When girls saw him, they either laughed in his face and made fun of him or made hurtful comments or just tried to completely avoid him outright. Guys on the other hand just gave him looks of pure disgust, shoved him against lockers, punch him in the face and/or just threw things at him.

Even teachers held no comfort for the young samurai. Whenever he got to his classes, he saw the contempt they held for him in their eyes. During the attendance, it didn't matter which teacher it was, they would hiss out his name and glare daggers at him when he answered with a neutral "here." During class, they didn't even give him the time of day as they went out of their way to ignore the school's exile. His second period science teacher even decided to kick him out of his class for the rest of the semester, giving him a failing grade on the spot. It wasn't surprising to hear no objection from the principal. He spent second period looking for some secluded spot around the school and just sat there, blasting his iPod© waiting for the bell to signal the next period.

Through all of this, he held on to his silence since he figured any word from him would somehow make his life even worse and his face remained blank and defeated. He was empty. He had nothing left in him to fight back with and he had nothing left to fight for. All he had in him was despair and hopelessness looking for some sort of outlet. He was just a hollow version of his former self, and even his former self didn't have much going on for him.

And that was how he went on with his life for the next three years of his life, just going through the motions, trying desperately to ignore the abuse people seemed to save just for him no matter where he went. He lived without living until destiny finally caught up with him.

It was a couple weeks after Mike had just turned Grade 12, just passing the previous year, and the beginning of the school year could not have been any crappier. The day had started out as usual. Wake up, get dressed, go to school, go to locker, get head bashed with locker, walk down the halls with the usual verbal attack hurled at him, get punched, slapped, tackled and/or tripped by someone on the way and get down to first period. It was all pretty routine, and he learned that a while ago that trying to avoid a predicted attack just earned him a bigger beating. He pretty much got the day down pat. It wasn't until an announcement during first period calling him down to the principal's office that his routine induced daze was broken.

Mike just left the class without saying anything, knowing full well that no one really cared whether he was there or not. He knew for a fact that, in reality, the students and the teacher would be happier if he wasn't even there to begin with. So he took his stuff and left in silence.

He went down to the principal's office, fully prepared for whatever he had to say to him. He had pretty much heard it all over the past three years and now he could say none of that fazed him anymore, seeing as now he had nothing to faze. Mike knew his spirit had been crushed a long time ago, so now that he had nothing left to crush, he strode into the office, not caring at all about what the principal might say to him.

When Mike came into the office and sat opposite of the principal, the principal started things off by giving him the evil eye that Mike was so accustomed to. He returned the look with a lazy expression on his face, showing that he wasn't impressed. It was a moment before the principal finally decided to end the staring contest, which he was losing at, and started to talk.

"As you may know," he started off, his voice gruff with old age, "many of the students and faculty at this school are strongly against the choice you have made for yourself."

Mike knew it wasn't a fucking choice, that he didn't choose to be like this, that he was who he was and he couldn't change that. But he knew that saying it out loud wouldn't have made a difference. No one would have believed him and he would have just made the situation that much worse for himself.

"It would also be against my moral compass if I were to allow such an inexcusable behavior to run rampant in the halls of my school and corrupting other people with your evil beliefs," the principal continued on.

Again, Mike expected for him to say something like this. If he had any self-respect at all left in him, he would have retorted that he hadn't done anything wrong; it was the other students that should be punished for putting him through this entire mess in the first place and destroying his chance of living a good and happy life. But again, Mike just stayed quiet and indifferent.

"So the faculty and I have come to a unanimous decision that it would be in our best interest, as well as yours, if you didn't come to his school anymore…"

The young samurai had already figured that this would happen sooner or later, if not now, then definitely sometime before graduation. No way in hell would they let a "_fucking homo" _graduate. _Well, I guess it would be for the best. It's not like I ever belonged here in the first place. I guess getting expelled now would be better than getting expelled later on. At least I won't have to deal with the people here any..._

"…and I have contacted your parents telling them the reasons why we believe it should be this way."

Mike's eyes slowly widened in fear as his mind took a moment to process what the principal had just said to him. This, he didn't see coming.

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE YOU DID WHAT!" Mike screamed at the top of his lungs, exploding for the first time in his life, all the feelings of anger and despair he'd repressed all his life had all of a sudden overcame his empty feeling and were now exiting through the new found outlet: his mouth. But there was way more where that came from.

"You heard me. I said I got you expelled," the principal sneered.

"LIKE I GIVE A RAT'S ASS! YOU TOLD MY PARENTS?" Mike seethed, his entire body was tense in a mixture of pure rage and fear as he gave the principal a look that said _one more wrong word and I will kill you._

"Well obviously I contacted your parents; you're still 17, a minor. I left them a message on their answering machine this morning," the principal answered calmly, though there was a hint of fear in his voice when he saw the murderous look on the young samurai's face.

_A MESSAGE!_ He still had time. He dumped the contents of his bag on the principal's desk (it was all his binders and text books which, as of now, he had no use for) and dashed madly out of the office. He could only hope that his parents were still asleep that morning.

As he ran down the hallway towards the front of the school, he noticed a certain group of people hanging around the front doors. It was his former so-called friends, the first to kick the crap out of him when he told them about his orientation. When they saw him running towards the door, they all smiled wickedly and started to block his way.

"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!" Mike yelled as he stopped in front of them. The anger had yet to dissipate as he was running on full adrenaline. The only thing on his mind was to delete that message before his parents could hear it.

"Aw look, the little fairy grew a backbone," the leader of the group said mockingly. "You know, we've wanted to continue what we started all those years back, we just had the time. But now that you're here…" The group charged altogether with each ready to throw an attack of their own.

"I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT!" Mike screeched out, exasperated. It was now or never, he finally had to put his samurai skills into use. The first one to taste his fury was the leader of the gang. Mike quickly ducked under the punch and sent a powerful uppercut to his head that sent his former friend to the ground out cold. After he fell, the rest were easy to take on. The young samurai sent the one on his left flying with a harsh kick to the gut, taking out another with his fall. With the last two, Mike jumped and flipped over their heads and before they knew what hit them, Mike made two concise strikes to their necks and knocked them out.

Before, Mike would have hated himself if he ever did anything to hurt his friends. Now, he felt cold and bitter. They weren't his friends anymore. All in all, they meant nothing to him.

Mike burst out of the school doors and sprinted as fast as he could, ignoring the dazed and groaning bodies left in his wake. Mike only lived about a 20 minute walk away from his school, but sprinting at full speed, Mike was able to make it in about 10 minutes flat…

…right into his father's fist. Mike grunted in pain as he started to feel pain all too familiar to him swelling in his, probably bruised, jaw. _FUCK!_ Mike swore bitterly in his head. _DAMN IT ALL! I'M TOO LATE! Why the fucking hell does all this stupid crap always fucking happens to ME!_ Mike continued to violently swear at himself in his head, until his father's overwhelming voice through the cloud of self-hate.

"DO YOU TRY TO DESTROY THIS FAMILY'S REPUTATION ON PURPOSE YOU SORRY, FREAKISH EXCUSE OF A SON?"

All Mike could do was stay on the floor cowering in terror, his previous anger and frustration dissipating as it was replaced by a chilling fear. He may have found the courage to fight for himself when he truly needed it, but his parents had some kind of power over him. He had the belief that fighting against his parents in any way, showing any kind of defiance was wrong. It was like an instinctive reaction to always be fearful and submissive to them no matter what the situation. The instinct was beaten inside of him by his childhood and as far as Mike knew, it was there to stay. That was why he just sat there, speechless and looking like a pitiful dog at the feet of his master.

"GAY! _GAY!_ Not only do you get kicked out of school but you're _GAY?_" his father hissed out at him, growling out the word "gay" as if it were some infectious and deadly disease. "You should be ashamed of yourself. Your mother is crying in our bedroom right now because of how much more of a failure you turned out to be. You don't deserve to be my son, let alone a samurai. People, and all people like you deserve to be punished!" (A/N: Just letting you know I don't believe this at all, just trying to be dramatic. Same thing to any other time I write something like this for effect, I don't mean it.)

That being said, Mike's father picked Mike up from the floor by the collar as easily as he would a ragdoll and mercilessly threw him across the living room, Mike's body harshly slamming against the wall opposite of him before crumpling into a pathetic heap back on the floor.

"Today, you will know the true meaning of fear and pain," his father said menacingly as he strode across the room to, again, pick up the broken samurai by the collar and moved their faces as close together as possible without touching so that Mike could truly see the hatred and anger in his intense glare. As he did this, he spat in his face and said, in the most terrifying and menacing voice he could muster, "As far as I'm concerned, I have no son." With that, he slammed the teen back to the floor with monstrous force.

Mike couldn't say anything or think of anything at that moment. Even after pain rushed through his body from being slammed towards the ground, he could only stare blankly at the ceiling with a surprised and dumbfounded look on his face. If he thought he was crushed before when his friends beat him up that unfortunate night, then, at this moment, he felt completely mauled, chewed up and spit out multiple times over. That night didn't even compare to the emotional anguish he felt right now. Through all of his life, even when he was being insulted by the man, his father had never, ever, not acknowledged him as his son. He may have been called a disgrace of a son, or the son his father never wanted, but he was still his son. Now, he wasn't even that. He was no one. And that truly destroyed him.

He believed this was going to be the biggest and longest beating of his lifetime, he truly did. And so he braced himself rightly so, fearing the first blow his father would give, knowing it would be a powerful one. But it never came.

Instead, the phone rang.

The ringing broke the tense air in the unhappy household and brought the violence to a standstill. It was a rare occurrence for someone to be calling them, seeing as Mike had no friends to call him and neither did his parents as far as he knew. The only time people called his family was when it was a school or work related issue and these were usually very important calls. This was why Mike's father decided to postpone the beating of a lifetime (the growling very angrily about it) and left his son on the bare, wooden floor and strode towards the kitchen, which was right across from the living room, where the phone was located. Before deciding to answer, Mike's father took two deep breaths to calm himself before answering.

"Hello," he answered, still sounding gruff and stern despite the deep breathing.

Mike watched from across the hall, seeing his father's face turn from tense and frustrated to surprised and serious.

"Understood," he replied to whoever was on the phone and he gently slid it back on the receiver. He turned to Mike and smiled so wickedly it was almost a sneer. "It's time," he stated in an ominously cryptic manner.

Mike could only stare at his father with confusion and fear in his face. He wasn't sure if he meant if it was time for his punishment or if he meant something else entirely. Before Mike could dare ask, his father went on.

"Pack your things whelp. You're leaving at sunrise tomorrow. I'll provide you with a map and some money to get you to where you're going faster and finally get the hell out of my life for good." Mike's father said this with more happiness than Mike had ever heard from the man his entire life, not that he was surprised. Why wouldn't the man be happy about finally getting rid of the biggest burden of his life?

But Mike was still confused. _What does he mean 'get where I'm going'? Oh my God are they kicking me out? But where in hell am I supposed to go?_ _Nobody wants me, I don't have anyone. I'm alone._ As Mike's thoughts were starting to more and more frantic by the second, his father finally spoke up to explain the obviously confused boy.

"It's finally time for the samurai rangers to join up again"

* * *

><p>One crappy cab ride, a shifty looking driver and a disgusting smelling back seat later, Mike finally got to the Shiba house. With his hiking pack and suitcase all full of his things, he came through the front gate and marveled at the property.<p>

The house was huge and had an oriental, yet western feel. The front yard was 10 times larger than his old yard with a homey looking patio up at front with a few exotic looking trees and plants here and there. There was even a small (arena?) by the front doors.

Mike went up to the large dual doors and was about to knock when he suddenly hesitated. _What the hell am I doing here? I was never good enough for my family or my friends, what makes me think I can even compare to all the other rangers?_ The young samurai was starting to doubt himself, seeing as most of everything in his life never turned out good for him. What difference would being a ranger be? As far as Mike was concerned, he was still the same screw up everyone, including himself, thought him as.

Although, before he could continue doubting himself, the doors opened revealing 2 pretty looking women. One was blond with curly hair and a wide smile plastered on her face that made her have a sort of bubbly presence. The other had straight black hair and also wore a smile as she was laughing with her friend, although hers was more refined, and she looked of some sort of oriental Asian descent. The two seemed to be talking before they opened the door and they stopped in their tracks as they saw the new face standing at the door way.

"Oh hey," the blond one started, her voice as bubbly as her personality seemed. "You must be Mike. We've been waiting for you!"

"Come on in so you can meet the others. I'm Mia by the way and this is Emily," Mia said in a kind and mothering sort of tone.

"Uh… sure?" Mike answered in a wary sort of way as he was ushered through the door. He wasn't used to people being so welcoming of him that he was a bit on edge. Usually, when people talked to him like the way Mia and Emily were, it was usually followed up by some sort of cruel and painful "joke". They seemed nice enough though and it's not like they knew anything about his life.

Thankfully, the two women didn't seem to notice his uneasiness so he braced himself for meeting the remaining two rangers, not knowing what to expect. What he saw intimidated him quite a bit.

Mia and Emily led him to the back of the Shiba house where he heard heavy grunts and wood hitting wood. When the clearing came into view, he saw two guys looking like they were going all out on what looked like a small training grounds. One was tall with light colored chocolate skin and wore a focused and frustrated look while he fought.

The other one just looked…amazing. He couldn't think of another word to describe him. He was a Caucasian man with sandy blonde hair that looked soft to the touch and looked just as tall as the other. His face also held a look of focus but it also looked analytic and more serious. Mike couldn't help but watch as the ranger moved and notice each of his muscles tense and relax from every blow, parry, dodge and flip. He looked so graceful, so beautiful, so… unattainable. Mike was completely rapt by this powerful deity that he almost didn't hear Emily when she spoke to him.

"I know, they're so skilled at being samurai rangers. It's hard to imagine being on the same team as them. It's a little intimidating."

"Uh huh…" was all Mike could say at the moment. His mind had almost gone to mush just by watching the samurai of his attentions. He kept on staring at the man until there was finally a winner in the vigorous sparing match. It was won by said samurai by a clever maneuver of quickly sidestepping to evade the oncoming attack, quickly crouching down to confuse his opponent and rapidly push his sword upward toward the neck, stopping just in time to leave a little space between his sword and the baffled ranger.

After a quick bow of respect for each other, they turned and walked in the direction of the other three rangers and immediately took notice of Mike.

"Hey, nice to see you could make it. I'm Kevin," the losing samurai said, a little out of breath, and put forward a hand. Mike shook it firmly, acknowledging the ranger, immediately respecting the man after the fight he had seen.

"I'm Jayden," the other said with a mixture of seriousness and genuine kindness in his voice. "It's nice to meet you. I'm the leader of this group of samurai rangers. I hope you find me a good leader and I'll do my best to help you through life as a samurai whenever I can." Jayden extended his hand towards Mike as a sign of good friendship.

Even though the hand shake lasted only a couple of seconds, to Mike, it felt like hours. While holding the callused hand in his own, the heat from Jayden's surging through his like a forest fire, Mike immediately felt comforted, calm and accepted. It was like, while in the presence of his leader, he felt protected from the world and the pain of his past was temporarily washed away. Even though he just met the man, he felt like he could trust him completely.

When Jayden let his hand go, the heat of Jayden's palm went with him, leaving Mike feeling cold and hollow once again. He longed to hold the ranger's hand again, but he knew he couldn't, so instead, he focused on the memory, never wanting to let it go.

"Hey guys, my name's Mike," he said with a smile brought on by the memory, "And I hope I can put as much into this team as the rest of you guys."

"This is awesome, now we're a true team guys," Emily chirped, as happy as usual. "I know we'll be the best of friends in no time and that bond will stay with us the rest of our lives!"

Mike didn't know what it was with these people, but he immediately felt accepted by all of them and wanted a chance to be friends with them. But, he knew from past experience that things like these didn't always end very well. _Friends huh? I don't know if I can do that again; go through all that pain and misery another time over. But you all feel… different from the people I've known through my life. I guess I'll give it another try._

So it was for them he put on a mask. A mask that showed a laid back and somewhat rebellious attitude, a goofy sense of humor and most importantly, happiness. A mask that covered his supposed evil desires and the effects his dark past had on him. He needed to constantly keep this mask on no matter what because he had no desire to drag his newly found friends into the dark pit of misery that was his life, and more importantly, he knew that if the other rangers ever found out what was underneath, he may lose the only friends he'll ever have in his life.

* * *

><p>(Present Time)<p>

As the memories flooded the green samurai ranger's head, the emotions he had so expertly held in for so long were starting to build up, causing cracks to appear on the mask Mike had learned to display on demand.

It wasn't just the beetle disk that got the broken samurai so worked up, it was the fact that Jayden didn't seem to acknowledge him as one of the strong and dependable ones of the group, which seemed to be everyone but him. He had trained so hard just to get the red ranger's attention on something other than his funny antics. Not being noticed at all by their fearless leader, after all that work, just…hurt. And it was that hurt combined with the hopelessness he felt about being as good as the other rangers and fitting in with them that caused his mind to spiral back to old times, times when he was constantly hurt and betrayed by the people who were supposed to care for him.

"Hey…Mike…hey you ok?" Jayden asked, looking as worried as he sounded. Like most rangers, Jayden was perceptive of his surroundings, him more so than the others, and was usually able to detect when something was amiss. Mike's subtle change in appearance, like his listless, distant eyes, his forlorn expression and his lack of movement, was no exception.

Mike didn't notice him. He was stuck in his own little world of misery made up of repressed emotion and bad memories.

The group of samurai rangers, excluding Mike, shared looks of confusion and concern over their now obviously distracted teammate.

"Mike, did you hear me? Are you ok?" the red samurai ranger prodded again, this time reaching out to grip Mike's shoulder firmly in hopes of getting through to him.

Big Mistake.

The green samurai ranger was unable to notice anything outside of his little world. All he could see were the events of his miserable past. So when the sensation of Jayden's large hand was felt on his shoulder, his mind immediately flashed back to _that_ night, the night where his life went from bad, to horrible.

The moment that Jayden's hand touched the broken samurai, Mike's eyes widened in absolute terror and screamed his lungs out before instantly curling into a ball with his hands over his head and knees to his chest on the sofa, trembling and whimpering.

Jayden immediately withdrew his hand in shock.

"MIKE!" the rangers exclaimed, instantly surrounding the green samurai in hopes of somehow helping their frightened friend, but were all too afraid to touch him in case it made things worse. It was Jayden who acted after a few moments of deliberation, grabbing the sobbing ranger by the shoulders, bringing him upright and went to kneel down at eye level.

"MIKE SNAP OUT OF IT! WE'RE HERE TO HELP YOU. ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? I SAID SNAP OUT OF IT" Jayden barked with as much authority as he could muster. He knew this was a delicate situation, but he had to bring the ranger back to reality before he could be gentle with the sobbing man.

At his leader's booming voice, the green samurai ranger immediately stopped the pathetic sounds that he just now realized he was making and slowly looked up to look into Jayden's eyes, those beautiful pools of brilliant grey that could only belong to their fierce leader. But why they were there, so close and studying him, in the first place still confused him. _Jayden? Wha…What's he doing here just staring at me?_ It was then he noticed the rest of the rangers surrounding him on the sofa and staring at him as well. _What the hell's going on here and why's everyone just staring at me like I'm crazy or someth—?_

Then it came back to him and Mike suddenly tensed up, petrified. _No. No. No, no, no that did NOT just happen!_ Mike had never lost control of himself before. Even when the constant stress from pretending to be happy for his friend's sakes and coping with his fear of opening up and the emptiness caused by the life he lived ever since he was born was too much to handle, he always had other…outlets, but he had never let himself lose control like that, to the point where he didn't even know where he was or what he was doing, and in front of his friends no less!

"Mike, hey it's me, Jayden," the red ranger said calmly, not wanting to frighten the samurai for a second time. "We just want to know if you're ok."

_SHIT! Now I've made them suspicious. I'm so STUPID. STUPID, STUPID, STUPID! I can't let them find out, I just can't!_ Mike thought desperately. But he had no idea what to do. His friends had just witnessed one of the worst moments of weakness he had and he had no explanation to give them, or wanted to give them. So he did the first he could think of, something he had always wanted to do with his problems but never had the chance to before; he walked away from them.

The green samurai ranger just stood up, pushed his way through the group and strode toward the door.

"Mike, where do you think you're going?" Jayden asked, anger flaring a little, thinking that Mike had just snubbed him. The other rangers remained in shocked silence, still absorbing what just happened and what was still happening.

"I'm going out to train," Mike answered back softly, unable to mask the despair in his voice.

At this, Jayden softened, wanting desperately to help his teammate with whatever was obviously wrong with him, but he had no idea at how to go at it. All he could do at the moment was ask the same question he'd be asking for a while now, "Are you ok?"

Mike turned before reaching for the door knob, now glaring at his leader. It's not like anyone cared before, whey in hell should they care now?

"I'm perfectly fine." His voice, though soft, was laced with subtle traces of anger.

And with that, he left for the training grounds, slamming the door shut.

**A/N:** A chapter for your thoughts? I want to know that at least one person wants me to continue this story. If at least one person wants me to continue, I'll continue for them. There's no point in continuing if nobody likes it right? Feel free to review, looking for feedback to help me get better seeing as this is my first fic and there's obviously going to be something wrong with it that I want to fix as soon as possible. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Forest Fire Chapter 2**

**A/N: HAPPY NEW YEAR! SURPRISE! You guys definitely deserve an explanation for my 3 year hiatus and you'll get one at the end of this chapter if you care at all. For now, I hope I can finally give you guys what you've been waiting for so I'll get on right to the story. For those of you who've lost interest, I hope this can bring you guys back. To all the new readers, I also hope you enjoy. **

**Warnings: Same as last chapter**

**Disclaimer****: I do not own anything from power rangers samurai or any else in the power rangers franchise.**

The young samurai looked up to see the forest canopy covering the sky as sunlight filtered through green leaves, spots of light dancing across the green ranger's face as moist, hazelnut eyes glittered with unshed tears. The moment he slammed that door, his anger towards the other rangers instantly turned into self-hatred and guilt. So trapped was he in those feelings, he didn't notice his feet leading him to the forest behind the Shiba house with a blank stare on his face. He wasn't aware of what was going on outside of him until the scent of rich, moist earth reached his nose brought the sight of trees to his attention. Not surprised by his unconscious decision, he leaned back on the nearest tree and unceremoniously sank down to the ground with his knees huddled to his chest, too tired to support his own weight. This pain, this life, it was getting to be too much for him to handle. He brought his head to his knees and closed his eyes, surrounded with the familiar darkness once again, just like he was for his entire life.

_Pathetic! Just so fucking pathetic, _the young samurai moped, fighting the tears that already threatened to slip through closed lids.

_ONE THING! All I had to do was ONE FUCKING THING! Look HAPPY! That was it! But noooo Mike, _he drawled, _you just HAD to screw up this one too didn't you? Only YOU could be this fucking stupid! Only YOU could've messed everything up when they were finally starting to get better, just like all of those nightmarish years ago! Only me…_

If Mike had to describe his entire life at this moment, only one word came to his mind: pitiful. A morbid chuckle left the green samurai's lips at the thought, growing until it had become a dark, psychotic laugh echoing throughout the forest. _I'm losing it, _he thought nonchalantly, not even caring. It had just been _so _long since he had a real laugh, since he had any reason _to _laugh. It all just seemed so…unbelievable! That one person could go through hell for 17 years, could remain so lost and broken for so long and _still _end up repeating the same mistake all the time! It was just so fucking pitiful; he just couldn't help but laugh at it all.

It may have been a few hours or maybe a few minutes. He didn't know but it took a while for the laughter to leave his system and he was left with that hollow feeling in his chest, once again reminded by the fact that he had nothing, that his life was nothing. _He _was nothing. That was the lesson he had been taught every single day of his life. It pissed him off that despite everything, he was still unable to get that through that thick skull of his! The green samurai ranger violently ran his hands through his hair, the laughter now gone from his face to be replaced with anguish.

"You stupid idiot," Mike said quietly, berating himself. "Why is it that you have to learn the same lesson over and over again? Why do you always have to make it that much more painful for yourself?" he asked himself, getting louder and louder, his breath starting to get heavier, more uneven.

His body was trembling now, struggling to keep his emotions in check.

"Every time. Every…single…TIME!" Mike was seething now, not even trying to keep all the desperation, all the pain and suffering from his voice. "Damn it! Just stop already! Stop expecting things to get better! Stop thinking things will finally start going your way for once because god damn it THEY WON'T! IT JUST FUCKING WON'T"

He felt something wet roll down his cheeks and he brought a rough hand to his face.

Tears.

Bloodshot eyes widened slightly at the realization. He hadn't cried for 4 years. Not since _that_ night. He couldn't help but wonder why he was crying, _now _of all times. Yes, he knew that his life was less than pleasant but it wasn't like he lost anything. What else was there to lose? The misery, the loneliness, the emptiness, it was all constant.

It didn't matter though. The tears kept spilling, flowing from his brown eyes as if happy to be finally let go and Mike's silent crying slowly turned wracking sobs.

_It's not fair…it's not fair…it's not fair_, was all he thought as he sat there, his cries gradually quieting down as he slowly started falling asleep where he sat with only the trees to keep guard of the broken ranger.

* * *

><p>Back at the Shiba house, the rest of the samurai rangers just looked on at the, now somewhat crooked, door in a daze, not entirely sure what to do or say. Emily was the first to break the silence.<p>

"Wha…I…I'm going to go after him."

"Don't Emily, just don't," Jayden told her, authoritative even in the quietness of his order.

"But we can't just leave him like that Jayden! You saw what just happened! Mike clearly isn't ok right now! We're his friends! We have to…"

"EMILY I SAID NO!"

Emily stared at their fearless leader, shocked to say the least. Kevin and Mia snapped out of whatever trance they were in and quickly turned their heads at Jayden's outburst, finally ungluing their eyes from the door they were staring at, dumbfounded. Every one of the samurai rangers knew that Jayden was a master of keeping his emotions in check. He was the leader of the samurai rangers, he had to be. Which was why all they could do was look at the now angry ranger, surprised and unable to move as if the blaze in his eyes melted them in place.

Jayden realized what he just did and immediately took a deep breath to regain himself.

"Look," the red ranger started calmly, "I understand he's your friend Emily and your teammate, but right now I think the best way we can help him is to talk to him later, or let him come to us."

"But—"

"That's an order Emily, and that goes for you two as well Kevin, Mia." The samurai leader gave them a look that the rest of them knew he meant this as their leader, not their friend. Jayden really hated it when he had to order his friends around outside of battle but this was important. They didn't see Mike's face before he turned to slam the door like he did because where the rest of them saw only anger, Jayden saw fear, hopelessness and anguish, more darkness than any man should ever have to bear. He knew that Mike was in a bad place right now and his gut told him that the slightest push in the wrong direction might do too much damage to the green samurai ranger.

Jayden, feeling a headache coming on from the situation, pinched the bridge of his nose and took another breath.

"Alright, now if you guys understand, just go back to your rooms or go train or go do…something that doesn't involve Mike. Just give him some space and don't push him alright?"

The three other rangers nodded, albeit somewhat reluctantly on Emily's part.

Jayden gave them a small smile. "Good, I'm sorry for yelling but I need you to know that I really think this is for the best. Now, dismissed."

With that, everyone went back to what they were doing before all of this happened, except for Jayden. Instead of going back to the training grounds, he went back to his room to try to sleep off the stress. He could feel a headache coming on.

In reality, he really wanted to agree with Emily. Mike wasn't just his teammate, he was one of his friends, maybe even his best friend and all he wanted to do was to go out right now and comfort the brunette. The red ranger knew better than to play favorites with his team though. He did his best to train, discipline and just plain hang out with everyone equally and he really did consider them all his friends, but there was just something…different about Mike. Whenever they sparred, Mike would always lighten the mood with his jokes, win or lose, and Jayden could do nothing about it but smile and laugh. Sure, sometimes he would lose concentration enough for Mike to win, but even then, Mike would do some sort of victory dance and try to rub in Jayden's face which only made Jayden laugh even harder. When Jayden joked back, the green ranger was thrown off at first but soon after, their sparring matches often turned to dissing contests that only made the two laugh non-stop.

When the red ranger ever got the chance to just hang out Mike, his heart always leapt a bit, always looking forward to their time together. Don't get him wrong, he had nothing against being with the other rangers, in fact, a lot of his fondest memories revolved around everyone in the samurai ranger team. It was just, with the other rangers, he never got a chance to drop his leader persona. With Kevin, the air was always so...professional. No matter what they did they did it as a samurai, which wasn't bad, but there was more to him than just being a samurai. And with Emily and Mia, it was always pretty energetic, going shopping or helping Mia cook, but at the end of it all it always ended up with him feeling super awkward. They were always talking about some movie, TV show or celebrity he's never heard of (and he didn't know many to begin with considering his samurai childhood), how much they hated their schools back home or, god forbid, their crushes where the two women always tried their best to get Jayden to spill some 'juicy' information, no matter how many times he said there was no one and tried to stay professional to hide his embarrassment. All in all, his life as a samurai leader always made itself apparent in these situations and it made things very uncomfortable for the young leader to say the least.

But then there was Mike. Mike, the one who always turned running errands into the most fun experience ever; turning regular grocery shopping into a racing game and who talked about anything and everything, never even giving time for Jayden to ever feel awkward. Mike, who always dropped the samurai formalities just to say, "Yo Jayden! Bruh! I got COD Advanced Warfare! WE HAVE TO PLAY IT TOGETHER! C'MON PLEASE?" and make the samurai leader feel less like a leader and more like a friend. Mike, who, whenever Jayden was angry or miserable and was wailing on some practice dummies, approached him, unafraid, and put hand on the red ranger's arm, instantly calming Jayden down. "It'll be ok," the green ranger would always tell him and flash him a smile before dragging him downtown for some ice cream, never asking him what was wrong, only doing everything he could to cheer up the samurai leader.

Jayden couldn't help but smile as he thought about the younger ranger. There was so much more about Mike that he couldn't help but think about. The way his eyes sparkled when he smiled around him, how comforting his hand felt whenever Mike went to calm him down, the sound of his laugh whenever he pranked Kevin yet again and came to tell Jayden all about it.

"That's my Mike…"

...

Jayden's eyes snapped open and he frowned. _Wait…what?_

The red samurai ranger laid in his bed in silence, thoughts and all, unable to process what he just said to himself.

_I…but…I didn't mean…not MY Mike. I just…I…_

It was as if his mind was his motorcycle engine and it would do nothing but stall. However, before Jayden could think about it any further, an alarm rang throughout the Shiba house and before the samurai knew it, instinct kicked in and his body was already striding towards the living area to prep the other rangers.

Although, right before he left his room, he decided that if the subject of what just happened ever breached his thoughts again, he would tell himself it was just the headache.

* * *

><p>It was only about 30 minutes before the forest samurai woke up. He was still sitting on the fresh forest ground, his back hunched and supported by the forest tree. His eyes felt sticky and his muscles ached from his awkward sleeping position, but he couldn't bring himself to move. So he sat there, definitely feeling calmer than before but he couldn't help but also feel…defeated.<p>

_What the hell is wrong with me? I…I had it under control didn't I? The panic attacks, I always kept them in check. Then why? Why did it happen in front of the rangers? In front of Jayden? WHY?_

The ranger's breathing started to pick up and he could feel his heart picking up speed as it thumped relentlessly against his chest. Sweat started to form on his forehead and he closed his eyes. It was happening again.

Instinctively, he reached into his pocket and felt the cold steel he was longing for. The forest samurai pulled out a small, rectangular razor blade and stared as it glinted almost mesmerizingly in the forest light. Even looking at the seemingly harmless object took some of the edge off. He then began to roll up the sleeve of his left arm and held it side by side with the blade shaking in his right hand, his wrist facing up.

The ranger's tan arm was bare, just normal skin and if Mike could think clearly instead of having his head spin, he would've chuckled darkly at the lie his arm told. Instead, he whispered a quiet, but concise command.

"Release."

And just like that, hidden scars started to reveal themselves all along the ranger's arm. Dozens of cuts seemed to litter his skin. Some were old, already starting to fade into pale lines and some more recent with angry red scabs.

Slowly, Mike put the blade on an unmarked patch of skin and delicately slid it across.

The green ranger hissed at the pain but revelled in the feeling. He felt his heartbeat start to slow back to normal tempo, his head start to clear and the stress constricting his chest seemed to ebb away with the rivulets of blood that flowed down his arm and dripped into the loamy earth. With a relieved sigh, he wiped the bloodied razor off on his jeans, put it back into his pocket and just continued to calmly watch his arm as the red liquid quickly ran down his arm.

_There's no point in any of this anymore. It's not like I don't see it. Hiding…this, everything, it just makes my panic attacks worse and it only prolongs the inevitable. The rangers, hell Jayden, they're all smart people, they'll figure it out eventually. Is there even a reason to this mask anymore? I…I don't think I can fight this anymore. I try and I try to push it all down, keep it away from the rangers but my strength, it feels like it's getting chipped away every fucking day. There's no hope…_

It was then a dull ringing sound echoed through the still forest air. It was the gap sensor. Instinctively, Mike quickly jumped up from his position and got some leaves to try and wipe off the blood running down his arms but before he could turn to leave, a thought occurred to him.

_Should I even go? The rangers, they'll be there. They'll be curious and ask questions. What the hell am I even going to say?_

However, he quickly shook these feelings off.

_No, that doesn't matter. The city is in danger and Master Xandred, he's a problem bigger than me right now and if all I'm good for is being a weapon, I might as well be a somewhat useful one._

With that, the green samurai ranger took out his samuraizer once more, drew a symbol on his wounded arm and said one more quick command: "Conceal." The wounds began disappearing once again. His cut didn't fully heal yet but he believed his black hoodie would be enough to hide any excess bleeding. So with a heavy heart, he rolled down his sleeve and slowly but surely walked back towards the Shiba house.

* * *

><p>Jayden was getting worried. He had just briefed everyone on the latest monster attack but Mike wasn't there. They had to leave soon and they couldn't afford more time.<p>

_Damn it Mike where are you? I—we need you here now._

They waited five minutes already which was five minutes too long for the red ranger. It looked like he had no choice.

"Alright guys we need to head out now, let's go."

Emily, again, was the first one to pipe in. "But what about Mike? Are we just going to leave him here?"

The rangers looked at their leader expectedly.

"Look, Emily, Everyone. I know Mike is part of the team but given these circumstances we don't even know where he is, let alone if he's going to be coming, we need to leave now befor—"

The door to the Shiba house opened revealing a dishevelled, but otherwise ok, looking Mike.

"MIKE!" Emily started, "are you ok? Do you—"

"Em," Mike interrupted softly, trying his best to smile but knew it probably looked more like a grimace. "I'm…fine. 100 percent ok."

Everyone stopped talking. All the rangers could do were look at Mike, bewildered.

Surprisingly, it was Kevin who decided to break the ice. "Um, Mike, I think I speak for everyone when I say, what the heck? That definitely didn't look ok to me."

Just like multiple times in his life, the green ranger had no idea what to say. He just stared at his fellow blue ranger, trying to think of something to say.

"I…uh I was thinking of that scene in Grave Encounters when hands started to grow in that room," He said lamely.

"I thought you said, and I quote, 'super freaking awesome'?" Kevin responded, definitely sounding skeptical.

"Look! Maybe I was more scarred than I let on alright?" the green ranger exclaimed sounding angrier than he meant to. "Don't we have a city to save or something?"

Jayden snapped out of his daze at that comment. Mike was right. No matter how much he wanted to question the green ranger, and with Mike acting so weird, he really wanted to, their city was in trouble. They were rangers first and foremost.

"Alright, now that everyone's here, we need to head downtown right now. The sensor is picking up some wild movement meaning this one's fast, so be careful. Samurai rangers, head out!"

He promised himself to talk to brunette later.

* * *

><p>By the time the teens got to the center of downtown, the city was a mess. Roads were cracked and destroyed, cars littered the streets either upside down or together in a crash, but what really got the samurais' attention were the people. They were everywhere amongst the rubble. They didn't seem scared nor did they make any move to leave the wreckage. The only problem was, they all seemed to be…crying.<p>

"What's wrong with everyone?" inquired Emily. "They don't look like they were injured but…I…I don't even know how to describe this…"

"Um, everyone seems to be crying Emily…" said Kevin.

Emily didn't even bother responding and just gave Kevin a look that said, _really now? Thanks Captain Obvious._

Mia decided to step forward towards a middle aged man who was crying in the middle of the road. "Why don't we just ask someone? Excuse me! Sir!"

"What *sob* do you *sniffle* want *sob*?" the man asked, trying to sound rude but unable to stop crying"

"I just want to know what's wrong. Were you attacked? Why is everyone else like this?"

"Screw everyone else! I just wanted to be a music teacher, not some desk jockey! Fuck the world! Fuck my life! Just leave me alone!"

The man continued bawling his eyes out as Mia, seeing that she won't be getting anywhere with this man, just backed away slowly, not wanting to agitate him any further.

"Guys? That was just…weird."

"Yea, it was," responded Jayden. "Is everyone else like that too?"

Before getting a response, the samurai leader jogged towards a young woman and started to talk to her. He only got in a few sentences before the woman grabbed him into a hug and started sobbing on his shoulder. Surprised, Jayden quickly started to shove the woman off back to the ground before speed walking back to the rangers, not making eye contact with any of them as the woman yelled "WHY DOESN'T MY BOYFRIEND LOVE ME?" and continued to cry.

"Yup, yup everyone else is like that too," Jayden said quickly, unable to keep the shock and embarrassment from his face.

Kevin, Emily and Mia stayed silent for all of one second before bursting into laughter. They knew it was wrong, especially considering the situation but they couldn't help it.

"Oh…HAHA…GOD that was…HAHAHA...priceless!" chortled Mia.

"HAHAHA…oh my god! I wish my samuraizer could take video!" Emily said, almost on the verge of tears.

"It's not funny guys," grumbled Jayden, more embarrassed than annoyed.

Kevin responded with the biggest laugh of them all, hugging his sides and doubling over, almost falling to the ground. He was heaving. "M—HAHA…Mike! Wasn't—HAHA…that hilarious? *HAHAHA*"

"Huh? Oh yea, uh, good one Jayden," Mike responded despondently, clearly not paying attention.

That sobered the rangers right up. Obviously something was wrong with their resident forest samurai.

Emily ran right up to him, the first to question his behaviour. "Mike, please. You need to tell us what's wrong."

Mike looked her in the eye, his brown orbs remained unmoved, displaying nothing at all, but the rest of his face, the slight frown and the wrinkled brow, showed his growing annoyance. "Emily look, I get it. I'm your friend and you're worried, but I don't _need _to tell you anything.

"But, Mike—"

"NO EMILY!" the green ranger burst out, just tired of it all. "I said I was fine and you should be ok with that! Can you please just stop forcing me to do things? Cuz frankly, it's starting to get on my nerves! You couldn't have chosen a worst time too, you know that? We're on the freaking battle field Em! The enemy could—"

"SURPRISE SAMURAI RANGERS!" a voice boomed from above them.

"EVERYBODY TAKE COVER", yelled the red samurai ranger as he dived underneath an unturned van in the middle of the wreckage. Unfortunately, the other rangers weren't as lucky since Jayden could only hear their screams, explosions and, oddly enough, the pitter patter of rain.

After the sounds seemed to end, the samurai leader pushed himself from underneath the car and the rubble and ran towards his friends. They were all face down on the ground, not getting up and that was more than enough reason for Jayden to worry.

"Guys! Are you o—?"

His worried face quickly changed to surprise and then confusion. Emily, Mia, Kevin, they were all crying, sobbing into the ground.

"Guys? Hey guys! C'mon don't be like this, wha…what's going on with you?" Jayden helplessly inquired, unsure of what to do.

He didn't receive an answer as the three rangers just started crying even harder.

"Why hello there red ranger, how do you like my present?"

The young leader turned to see a weird humanoid shaped nighlock just a few feet in front of him carrying a spear like weapon. Veins of blue danced around his purple body, extending into tentacles that came down to its calf. Its purple chest extended downwards into what looked like a long flowing gown. Its face, hell what else could the ranger possibly say besides ugly. Yellow piercing eyes, a claw ended, meter long…beak sort of thing for a mouth and a red, pointed, hat like shape on its head that descended all the way to the neck and protruded outward, like a giant, rotten tomato was shaped into a sombrero just came alive and started eating this guy.

_Yup, I'm definitely spending way too much time with Mike…focus Jayden._

"Who are you? And what have you done to my friends?"

"HA thought you'd never ask. The name's Desperaino, and what you're seeing right now are the effects of my rain clouds that give people the worst misery of all: the loss of hope."

"Loss of hope?" the red ranger asked, trying to distract the monster. If he was to only capable ranger right now, he needed a plan.

"Yes. What better way is there to drown the people of earth in sadness than taking away all of their hopes, their dreams? Pretty effective if I say so myself. Soon the Sanzu river will rise an—"

The monster couldn't finish his sentence as he was just kicked down to the ground. Jayden couldn't believe his eyes when he saw Mike stand over Desperaino.

"Mike? I thought…weren't you…?"

Desperaino quickly rolled away right before the brunette could land another kick.

"What the hell? Why didn't my rain clouds—"

"Oh just shut up already, I'm sick and tired of you talking. Samuraizer!" Mike pulled out his samuraizer… "GO GO SAMURAI!"…and quickly drew the kanji for forest.

In a flash, the green samurai ranger jumped into the fray. He was fighting relentlessly, his sword danced across the monster's hard flesh, sparks flying. Within minutes, he had Desperaino flailing until one final kick sent the monster to the ground for a second time.

"Had enough yet?" the forest samurai mocked.

"UGH what is with you, you should be crying on the floor right now, not fighting! Did I miss? Let's try this again, LOSS OF HOPE!"

A rain cloud appeared above the green ranger and before he had a chance to react, rain fell, soaking him to the bone. Within seconds, the green ranger demorphed and he fell to his knees, his body slouched forward, unmoving.

"MIKE NO!" the red ranger yelled, still beside his fallen comrades. "YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT YOU NIGHLOCK CREEP! SAMURAIZER! GO GO SAMURAI!"

The red ranger ran like he'd never run before. All he could think of was protecting Mike from that monster, from everything. But he was too far and before Jayden made it half way there, Desperaino was already back up, his spear aimed directly for the brunette's head.

"Have a nice dirt nap you green pest!" and Desperaino plunged his spear downward…

"MIKE!" Jayden yelled.

…only to be caught by the forest samurai just moments before the spear pierced his skull. He looked up at a surprised Desperaino with a blank look on his face.

"Dirt nap huh? Sorry, I thought about it, but I'm more useful up here thanks." Mike twisted the spear out of the creature's grasp and with a twirl, he stabbed Desperaino right in chest. The monster staggered backwards, wounded.

"Ugh but HOW? Screw you green ranger! I'll get you, but not today. MOOGERS! Destroy the rangers! And get me back my spear while you're at it. See you later greenie, maybe." Moogers suddenly filled up the streets and in the ruckus, Desperaino's head opened up into an umbrella like object and he swiftly flew away from the battle grounds and headed back to the netherworld.

Mike tried to catch up to him but it was useless. Desperaino was too fast and too high up. Suddenly however, he and Jayden were surrounded by moogers and in their confusion, Mike got ambushed too easily and he was held down.

"H…Hey! Get off me!" the brunette ordered frantically to no avail. A wave of moogers kept him immobile and they took the spear from his hands. The green ranger couldn't even reach his samuraizer. Desperately trying to get out, all he could do was twist and turn in hopes of trying to get loose. It wasn't until they got close that Mike saw even more moogers start to close in on him, swords in hand.

"Hey, hey, get those things away from me! Stop! LET…GO!" he pleaded.

_SON OF A BITCH! How much more could I have fucked up? I had him too! Damn it I can't just stop screwing up! And now I'm probably dead, perfect end for a perfect fuck up._

The more he struggled, the tighter the moogers held him. He couldn't do anything and now there was a sword only inches from his neck.

"Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck," Mike whispered, terrified. "I can't get away. I let you down again. I'm sorry, Jayden," he lamented sadly, closing his eyes as he waited for his end to come.

But it never came.

"SPIN SWORD! BLAZING STRIKE!"

A swirl of flames engulfed the moogers encroaching on the green ranger and the shockwave from the blast brought Mike and his captors to the ground. In a daze, it was difficult for the green samurai ranger to sit up but when he looked skywards, he saw a hand and his leader standing above him whose face showed a combination of worry and relief.

"Sorry about that Mike, I couldn't think of any faster way to get you free. Can you stand?"

Mike looked at him for a moment having a difficult time processing what just happened. He was sure he was at death's door this time but once again, Jayden saved him. Embarrassed, he took his hand and Jayden pulled him up to his feet.

"Yeah, I can stand," the forest samurai said sheepishly. He quickly pulled his hand away from the red ranger's grip and looked away, trying to hide his blush. "Um, sorry…about that. I got caught off guard."

Jayden just gave him a weird look. "There's nothing to be sorry about Mike. Nighlocks like to fight dirty. I got your back and you got mine right? That's what you always say."

"Yeah, but—"

"No buts. No point in feeling sorry for yourself right? It was a simple miscalculation," Jayden said with a smile, completely confident in his words. Mike could've sworn his heart was going to explode. He always felt good whenever he could make Jayden smile when no one else could and for a second, he felt special.

_Stop it Mike. He just said that to make you feel better. He's your leader and that's all he will ever be to you._

"Alright," Jayden continued, not noticing the forest samurai's internal struggle, "we have about 50 moogers left to fight. You think you're up for it?"

The comment brought Mike out of his own thoughts and he remembered where he was. He saw the remaining moogers start to recover from the shock of their fallen comrades and started to head for them.

"Y…yea I'm ready," and Mike transformed back into the green samurai ranger.

"Good, we can do this. Just like practice. FIRE SMASHER!"

"Right, on your lead, FOREST SPEAR!"

It was tough trying to fight a whole army of moogers with only two people, but in the end, it was nothing they couldn't handle, especially with the Nighlock out of the way for now. With their combined efforts, they took down the moogers in no time.

With the last of the moogers gone, the two rangers demorphed and ran back to their crying teammates, somewhat out of breath. Mike wasn't sure what to do with them and he looked up to see Jayden calling someone on his samuraizer.

"Hello? Yes, I have an emergency. The monster attacking downtown seems to be gone for now but a lot of people are…not doing so well. We need ambulances here…Alright, thank you so much." He looked to Mike. "That should take care of the civilians."

"But what about our guys?"

The two rangers looked to see their three friends still crying in the middle of the road. They were now huddled together in an attempt to comfort the each other but it didn't look like things were getting any happier for them.

"Hmm, yeah carrying them like would probably be really awkward," Jayden said. He scratched the back of his head as he took a second to think. "Hey Mike, text Mentor Ji. Tell him to bring the SUV to our location. I have an idea."

When Mike did exactly as he was told, he walked up to Jayden in time to see him with the rest of the rangers holding his samuraizer up. The red ranger then drew a kanji symbol in the air, one he didn't recognize.

"Sleep!" commanded the red ranger and at that moment, the restless rangers stopped moving, sound asleep. "There, that should last us long enough to get them back home without any fuss."

Mike looked at Jayden in awe and the sandy blond couldn't help but notice.

"What?"

"Uh…It's well…It's nothing," the green ranger sputtered. "It's just, I would never have thought of that. I don't even know how to draw the kanji for that, let alone a whole bunch other things." For the second time he had to hide his blush. _Damn it__Jayden why do you keep doing this to me?_

"Haha, Mike it was nothing. You'll learn all this stuff eventually. I promise, I'll teach you everything I can while we're together." Jayden just smiled at him and Mike couldn't help but smile back, a real smile. It was rare occurrence these days and no matter how much he tried to push his feeling down, it was always the red ranger that broke through his defences.

The moment didn't last though. It never does.

Mike watched Jayden's smile falter and his face turned into one of confusion and then into one of concern.

"Jayden? What's wrong?"

"Mike…your arm…it's bleeding"

The brunette paled.

_No…it isn't. It can't be._

Slowly he looked down to see that it was indeed his left arm bleeding…a lot. Drops of the red liquid rolled down his hand at a steady pace. He couldn't speak, he felt like he couldn't breathe like his throat was closing up on him.

"Here, Mike, let me take a look."

"NO...I mean…no. It…It's fine." Mike backed away slightly as he struggled to find the right words. What could he possibly say to make this all go away? "It probably happened when the moogers were holding me down. Or maybe it was when I fought Desperaino, I don't know." Technically, it wasn't lying. One or more of the cuts could have torn during his struggle. "I…I'm fine though. I swear." He held his bleeding arm defensively.

"Still, Mike I need to see it," Jayden chided, confused as to why Mike wouldn't let him near his arm.

_Is that…why is there fear in his eyes?_ Jayden thought. It didn't make sense.

"Jayden please…I can handle it I promise."

He sounded so small and desperate and for a second, Jayden wanted to leave it be, but he knew he couldn't, he shouldn't. What kind of friend would he be if he left Mike to tend to a serious looking injury on his own?

"Mike, I can't do that," the red ranger said commandingly, not backing down. "I'm not just your friend, I'm your leader. What kind of leader would I be if I just left you to bleed? Now, let me see your arm."

For a second, Mike didn't move. He just looked pleadingly at the red samurai ranger, trying to figure a way out of this, but Jayden wouldn't budge. So, with nothing else to do, he lifted his arm slowly towards his leader and just looked down, away from the sandy blonde, not wanting to see the result.

Jayden just raised his brow at the reaction, not understanding.

"Hey, don't worry, I'll make sure to be careful. I'll do my best not to hurt you."

He didn't get a response so he assumed it was ok to continue. So with delicate hands, he slowly rolled up the green ranger's sleeve making sure to avoid skin as much as possible. What he saw confused him even more. Besides the blood, nothing else marred his skin. The blood just started at one point beneath his arm with seemingly no origin and just flowed on.

"What the…" Jayden was about to ask Mike if he knew what was going on until he felt it. He felt it resonate deep within his bones, a slight, vibrating pressure. It was the thrum of magic, a feeling he was trained to detect at such a young age. He knew it well and he knew it didn't belong here.

"Mike just hold on one sec," Jayden ordered absentmindedly as he pulled out his samuraizer, concentrating on what he was doing. He was going to get to the bottom of this.

"Jayden," Mike piped in, putting in one last ditch effort. "You have to know, it wasn't your or anybody else's faul—"

However, before he could finish, the red ranger finished writing his symbol on Mike's arm.

"De-spell," Jayden commanded and Mike could feel his symbol power break.

Silence. Stillness. That was all there was for what felt like an eternity to the green ranger.

Jayden could do nothing but look at the arm he was holding, the arm that looked so bare and smooth before now looked mutilated. His mind tried to process what he was seeing but for the longest time, he couldn't do anything, say anything. All he could do was look at the arm of his best friend, horrified. This…he wasn't expecting this.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the red ranger broke the silence.

"Mike," he whispered and he looked up to look the brunette in the eye with, what Mike would describe, the most haunted look he had ever seen. "…what…what have you done?"

**A/N: Hey guys, so like I said, you'll get an explanation if you care at all. Haha if not, just feel free to skip this and go the next A/N. You see, I did see your comments the instant they came up and I really wanted to keep my word. It was just that, at the time, I had a lot to deal with as well. School work was piling on, I just came out to some of my friends and I had to deal with my very strict Christian parents (who I still haven't come out to but can definitely feel their dislike for homosexual people). I became depressed (seeing as some people I came out to didn't take the news super well) and I tried to continue this story, thinking of it as a way to feel better, but it actually started to make me feel worse. So I stopped. Probably not the best excuse but it's the only one I got. Anyway, as time moved on, I kept trying to continue this story, only to believe that I lost all inspiration to continue. It wasn't until first year university that I met the right people, did the right things to get myself better that I started feeling confident again. So here I am, in the middle of second year university trying to finish the story I started 3 years ago. **

**A/N: I can't promise to update soon seeing as university work and work work continues to pile on but I definitely will update, just not as fast as some you might be hoping. Sorry about that. Anyway, like I said, feel free to review and critique my work. Tell me if there's something I need to change or if there's something you don't like. I don't care about flames as long as they're about my writing style and not the content. Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter.**


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